Lonely Lonely

I browse through friends profile on Friendster and Facebook and realized that time flew by very quickly. Friends starting to get married and soon enough producing babies. Now, I don't have any problem with that, no, wait maybe I do, though it is only to a certain extent I do feel envious of them. Envious that they are capable to make a choice to just settle down. Envious of these women whom finally complete themselves with a loving husband and love child. Having a family.

I was raised to be an independent woman who rely only to herself and no one else. This however makes me feel lonely at times, sometimes even go as far as feeling abandoned. I'm close to being 24 now and no matter how I envisioned myself to work at the UN or working in New York even when it means I have to sacrifice my personal needs there is one fact I couldn't help not ignoring, I do need to feel loved.

Ever since I moved here, the loneliness grew even stronger. Now, I know its cheesy to want some guy I met along this way of life to just fell in love with me, just the way I am. Just the way how I have lack in spatial ability or the fact that I have cyclical hormonal issue, or just the fact I am simply not perfect. Nevertheless I want to meet him. The One.

To be honest I don't know what I am looking for and I am tired of not knowing. I am missing something or someone. I need guidance. I NEED GUIDANCE.

God, I just want to be closer to you, whoever and wherever you are... wipe away my longing for you beside me.